


set my heart on fire (I know you'll save me)

by sadpicturesque



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F, chaennie, jennie has a weakass heart, jennie is just a smol bean who just wants some love and affection, rosie is there for her, rosie makes jennie's heart beat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 08:22:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20503844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadpicturesque/pseuds/sadpicturesque
Summary: a bit of fluffy angst. nothing too major.





	set my heart on fire (I know you'll save me)

I couldn't see anything. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. Only one thought kept circling around inside my head.

_He's back._

My head was hidden between my knees as I was cramped in the corner of my dark and musty closet. I could hear my blood rushing in my ears, my heart furiously,and most probably unhealthily, thumping in my chest and my breath coming out ragged and irregular. I didn't know what to do or what to think. I was stuck inside my own mind and it was filling me up with toxic thoughts- thoughts I supposedly left behind ages ago. Now they're back with full force and there was nothing I could do about it.

The man I hated the most in the world has come back. There was no doubt in my mind that he would come for me- to hurt me and to make sure I was still as broken as he left me.

My father.

"Jen?" I heard a voice call out.

'_Oh shit. she can't see me like this. I look like a total mess._' were the type of thoughts that I would be having if I was in the right state of mind. Unfortunately, the rational part of my brain had completely shut down and I couldn't seem to be able to form a single coherent thought. She'd find me like this soon and I didn't even care.

"Are you home? I brought some food!" She continued. I wish I could reply.

I also wished I could breathe like a normal human being. There's that.

"......Jennie?" She sounded worried now. She was always the worrier. Ever since she learnt about my condition, she has been extra careful around me. It was sweet. She was sweet. Too sweet.

"Hey, you're scaring me now. Please come out." Come out, she says. That would've normally earned a chuckle from me, but we've already established that I wasn't the least bit my normal self just then.

I heard the door to my room open. Then came footsteps on my hardwood floor and the opening of another door. She's probably checking the bathroom. Any moment now she'll find me. Please find me.

I heard the bathroom door close and a few seconds later, the closet door opened and I heard a small and gentle gasp come from my saviour.

"Oh no, Jennie...." Chaeyoung whispered.

My head was still hidden between my knees. I was shaking with quiet sobs and my hands were tangled in my shoulder length hair. I felt her warmth surround me as she pulled me into her. I immediately relented as I wrapped my arms around her neck while hers went around my waist. It was an awkward position but I didn't care. All I wanted was her warmth and comfort or else I was afraid I was gonna internally combust.

"Hey. What happened?" She asked in a low voice while stroking my mess of a hair.

That made me sob even harder. I didn't deserve Park Chaeyoung. She was way too nice. Too gentle. Too good to me. Too much of an angel for someone as tainted as me.

She put her hand underneath my knees and proceeded to carry me bridal style, over to my bed. She laid me down on it and lay next to me. Well, I hung onto her for dear life so it's not like she had any other choice but to lie down next to me.

"Breathe, Jennie." She whispered into my ear.

"Just keep breathing. Slow and deep. It's gonna be alright. I'm here now. I'll protect you." She kept whispering soothing things into my ear.

My sobs eventually turned into quiet sniffles and then a few moments later, I felt wave after wave of embarrassment and shame roll over me. It was so overwhelming and suffocating that I suddenly jerked to get out of her embrace, even if deep in my heart, there's no other place I'd rather be.

She let me go but didn't let me move away. We were sitting down on my bed, face to face. Although my gaze was currently on our intertwined hands and hers was most probably running all over my face, scrutinizing but soft.

She brought her free hand up to tuck my hair out of my face and then her hand remained on my cheek as she wiped away a few stray tears that escaped my eyes.

She didn't force me to look at her or to speak. She never forced me to do anything. Sometimes I wished she would but she was much too kind-much more than I deserved. Always way too much more.

"How are you?" She asked, voice as gentle and soft as ever. It made me want to pathetically start sobbing like a little bitch again but with much will-power, I restrained from doing so.

I didn't answer her. I couldn't. Speaking was out of the question for now and she understood. She always just understands.

"Ah I see. That bad, huh?" She said, knowingly.

I manage to nod a bit this time.

She shuffled a bit closer until our knees were touching. That, and her hand still on my cheek contributed to the instant warmth I felt throughout my entire body. It was almost magical, the effect she had on me. with just a simple touch and some comforting words, she managed to make me feel so much better.

A few minutes passed and we were still pretty much in the same position except Rosie had moved her hand and placed it on my knee instead. She was rubbing circles onto it and I felt somewhat ticklish. I think that was her intention.

Finally, I sighed and looked up at her. Her warm brown eyes never failed to make me feel at home and she gave me a reassuring smile, to which I returned a weak-but genuine- smile of my own.

"Thank you. For everything. I....I don't know what I would've done. I'd probably be in such bad place right now if you weren't here. So just. Thank you. Seriously, I--"

I was interrupted by her finger on my lips. My heart rate shot up so fast, it was a miracle I didn't collapse right then and there. My eyes grew comically wide and my lips involuntarily parted a bit as I looked into Rosie's intense gaze.

"Its no problem. I know you would've gone on and on about how grateful you are and all so I decided to stop you because really, its my pleasure to help you in any way I can. So please stop thanking me, okay?" She said smoothly.

"But I really--"

"Shh"

"Its just--"

"Shhh"

"Stop tha-"

"_Shhhhhh_." She said again with a teasing tone this time, because she knew it was getting on my nerves. She knew it would make me feel better. She just knew and I loved her for that. And I wanted to tell her.

I've been in love with her for ages. I fell in love two months into our friendship. I have a strong feeling she knows but I never knew if it was reciprocated. Now was the time to find out. It was a good way-perhaps not the best- to get my mind off of the news that gave me my worst panic attack since I was 15.

"I'm in love with you." I stated, looking into her eyes, gouging her reaction.

She seemed shocked, to say the least. Her eyes went as wide as mine had been a few moments ago and her mouth hung open. I almost laughed at her but I needed to get it all out before I chickened out.

"I don't know exactly how or when but I realized it a few months ago." I spoke softly, still staring into her eyes.

"Remember when you came to our dorm that one night and you were all excited because that guy you like finally asked you out? I remember feeling like someone just poured ice cold water on me. And at that time, I'd been under the illusion that nothing could ever faze me, you know? Not after all that I've been through. So imagine my shock when I realized that the thought of you with another person could effect me so _badly_ that I wanted to simultaneously vomit and roll into a ball and cry my eyes out." I kept blabbing, hoping she'd say something, and not just sit there, frozen.

"I just--I don't know why I felt the need to say it right now of all times but you've been so good to me, Rosie. Better than I would and could ever deserve. And you accept all of me with an open heart even though I am broken and tainted and dirty and everything you should stay away from but you don't. Even when I tell you to. So I just. I got a bit overwhelmed I guess. I'm still extremely overwhelmed. hence why I've been talking non stop for the past three minutes. Please stop me or I'm legit gonna go on about how much I love you for hours and its gonna be real awkward and embarrassing for both of us so--"

I got cut off again. this time, it was not with a finger, but by a pair of soft and warm lips against mine that genuinely made me feel super dizzy and disoriented. I managed to kiss her back though. With as much force as I could muster- which wasn't much to be honest. 

It was the world's best feeling and I was on a rollercoaster of emotions. Her lips moved gently against mine. It didn't feel forced or awkward. It was comfortable and warm and it felt like the stars aligned to make this moment just perfect. She made me feel so at home with just a simple kiss and I felt my love increase tenfold.

We finally parted and our foreheads were against each other and I didn't dare open my eyes, not wanting to wake up from this beautiful dream. Not wanting to shatter this peaceful moment of just us. With my heart in her hands for her to do whatever with, and I wasn't even worried.

Because it was her. She'd take care of it. She always does.

"I may be in love with you too, Jennie." She whispered, breathlessly.

I could feel her gaze on me but I still didn't open my eyes.

This was way too good to be true.

"_Holy crap_, punch me." I blurted out.

I felt the vibration of her chuckle against me and I involuntarily shivered. As embarrassing as my reaction was, I wouldn't mind listening to her laugh forever.

"How about I just kiss you instead?"

And kiss me, she did. Until it got too much for me and the last thing I felt was her lips on mine as I fainted into oblivion.

And I didn't even mind one bit.

****

I woke to the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor i was oh so familiar with. This isn't the first time I've ended up in a hospital because of my spontaneous fainting spells. However, this is the first time I've woken up surrounded by people who cared about me enough to stay in a hospital for me.

"She's waking up." Someone murmured. I opened my eyes and saw Lisa and Jisoo.

The first thought I had was who told them about me. Then I remembered. Rosie. She was probably so panicked she called them as well. She's never dealt with one of my fainting spells before. Damn, she must've thought she killed me with the intensity of her love or something. To be honest, that sounds like something that'd happen to me. Cause of death: Extreme euphoria due to feeling loved.

The thought elicited a small giggle out of me and the others looked at me in concern. Great, now they think I'm insane on top of everything else.

"Sorry, this is just a very amusing situation." I said to them while rubbing my face with the hand that wasn't connected to the IV.

"Yup, so funny you almost gave us all a heart attack." Lisa said sarcastically.

"Yeah, when Chaeyoung called and told us to come to the hospital? That was so scary. What if something horrible had happened?" Jisoo said in a chiding tone.

I gave her a guilty look and mumbled an apology.

"No need for that. Tell us what happened. Chaeyoung told us you fainted? Why?" She continued. Count on her to always get to the point.

I remembered what happened and I could feel my heart rate going up. My lips were still tingling from the kiss and I tried to get the thought of her soft lips on mine out of my mind because at this rate--

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud alarm going off from my heart monitor and a nurse frantically ran into my room immediately afterwards.

"Oh my gosh, what happened, are you alright, why is your heart rate that fast?" The nurse asked me rapid-fire questions and all i could do was hide my face behind my hand and hope none of them noticed how red i was.

"It's nothing! I was just--I just...thinking." I ended lamely. They were all giving me incredulous looks and I felt my blush deepening.

"I promise I'm fine. Thank you." I addressed the nurse and she gave me a sceptical look as she left.

Well, that just happened. Even thinking about the kiss made my heart beat shoot up to that extent, I was afraid of what will happen when I see her again. Oh boy.

"Oooookay.....What the _hell_ was that?" Lisa asked.

"I--well-- me and Rosie-- Rosie and i--we umm" I began to stutter and my face was getting redder by the second and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

"Go on, spit it out. Rosie and you what?" Jisoo urged me on.

Right at that moment, there was a bit of a commotion outside my ward door.

"Oh come on! This isn't even unhealthy food. It's just a chicken burger and look! There's even a salad!" I heard Rosie's insistent voice most probably arguing with the nurse stationed outside for me.

"Oh shit oh no no no no, guys _please_, dont let her in, please please." I begged them. Not for the first time since I woke up, they gave me similar looks of bewilderment. But I didn't care. If I saw her right now, I would definitely become overwhelmed and oh gosh my heart monitor would go nuts and I'd have to explain to everyone that I'm just **that** whipped for Roseanne Park. Pathetic.

My pleads fell onto deaf ears as Rosie came in holding a McDonald's bag. She paused a bit at the door and we just stared at each other for a second. Then she smiled her brilliant, breath taking smile and I was forced to close my eyes and will my heart beat to calm down. I put my hand over my eyes to prevent the urge of looking at her perfect face win me over.

"Hey." She was suddenly right next to me. Probably mistaking me being flustered as heck for something else. Her familiar scent was overwhelming me and I felt tears brimming beneath my eyelids.

I felt her hand brush a few hairs out of my face and then I felt her lips on my forehead, giving me a light kiss.

That's when it happened. The stupid alarm went off again and I was so embarrassed I almost burst out crying right then and there.

The same nurse's panicked voice reached my ears but I just sat there with my hand over my eyes.

"Miss Kim. I'm gonna need you to explain what just happened." The nurse said in an authoritative voice.

I finally took my hands away from my eyes and opened them to see panicked looks on every face in the room. I carefully managed not to linger too long on Rosie's face.

Before I had the chance to say anything, Lisa exclaimed.

"Oh my god! It's Chaeyoung! She's doing this to Jennie-unnie!"

Well. At least I didn't have to say it myself.

"What! What did _I_ do?"

I didn't know if I felt more bad for myself or for Rosie, for getting her into such an uncomfortable situation.

"Last time when the alarm went off, we were talking about you and unnie got all flustered and stuff. What else could be the reason?"

"Hmm I don't know. Maybe she smelled the burger inside the McDonald's bag." Jisoo said and an unexpected laugh made its way out of me. Jisoo had an amazing talent at diffusing the tension in a room just like that. It was one of the many traits I admired about her.

"We didn't mention anything about food last time though." Lisa said, staring at me suspiciously.

"Guys, it's no big deal. Look, my heart rate is.......somewhat normal now. Please stop worrying about this okay? I'm fine." I said to them.

"Please try not to get too excited Miss Kim. Its not good for your heart. There may be severe consequences." The nurse told me in a serious tone and I nodded solemnly. I knew all too well what severe consequence there were.

"You know, maybe it's just the anaesthesia that's messing with my heart?" I said.

"We didn't give you any anaesthesia though." The nurse replied. I pleaded her with my eyes to just let me get away with that excuse but it seemed she didn't understand.

"Oh. Then maybe it's the IV. Yeah, I'm sure it was just the IV, right?" I tried again.

"Actually, the IV doesn't affect your circulatory system much, it's just for ene--"

"Oh my gosh _please_ just say yes!" I groaned exasperatedly.

The girls shared a quick chuckle at my childish behaviour. The nurse left, giving me another warning about not exciting myself. Well, it's not like I could control my mess of a heart.

"Okay guys, spill the beans. What the hell happened for you to end up in the hospital?" Jisoo asked again.

I looked at Rosie and she smiled and nodded subtly at me. Assuring me that she's gonna take care of it.

"Well, Jennie had a panic attack and I arrived at the dorm to see her crying in her closet. I tried to calm her down and I guess I succeeded somewhat but then....." Rosie trailed off and they all looked at me but I was too busy stuffing my face with the chicken burger Rosie brought me.

"She kished meh." I said with a mouth full of food. I didn't care about my dignity at the moment. I just wanted to get this all over with.

"_Excuse me_? She _kissed_ you? Why? How?" Lisa fired off. Jisoo had a knowing grin on her face and pat Rosie's head, as if to congratulate her.

"Yeah. I kinda confessed my undying love for her because my brain was all kinds of messed up then and I just kept talking and talking so yeah. She shut me up." I winked at Rosie and was satisfied to see her cheeks turn slightly pink. I don't know where all this confidence was coming from but I guess this is how people with no self dignity felt. Oh well.

"Fucking finally. It was about time. Honestly, we were all tired of seeing you both giving each other heart eyes and longing looks. One time I think I actually vomited in the back of my mouth." Lisa said, patting my hand.

"Language, please." Rosie muttered, still a bit red.

I was sitting there, looking at the girls laughing and joking around and suddenly felt an overwhelming rush of gratitude towards them. They've been with me through thick and thin and I honestly could not have asked for better people to love and cherish. Even if the whole world was against me, I was certain that these girls would stand besides me and give me courage to move on and prosper.

"I love you guys." I said, tears in my eyes.

All eyes turned to me and they were filled with nothing but affection.

"We love you too, Jendeukie." Jisoo said, stroking my hair.

Lisa and Chaeyoung hummed their confirmation, putting a pause on their bickering for a while.

In that moment, with the people I loved most with me, I wasn't afraid of anything.

Because they would protect me.

And with Chaeyoung looking at me like she wanted to take all my sufferings away, I truly felt no pain.

Because she would heal me.


End file.
